Posted by admin on November 12, 2011


1-      You must find the person attractive, and there must be a conviction in you that you can spend the rest of your life with the person. This is the first signal that can give you the go ahead to get into any kind of relationship talk or activities. If that is there then you proceed to the next stage:

2-      Does he or she add to you? You don’t need to eat all the food to know how it tastes. If somebody is taking from you spiritually, being a drag on your destiny, hindering you in your academics, drawing you away from your parents and family; that certainly can’t be a partner for you. But on the other hand, if the person adds to you spiritually, socially, mentally, and in other areas then it’s worth taking a look into the possibility of marriage.

3-      Complementary attributes: there are definitely areas in your life where you are strong, and other areas you are weak, which borders basically on manners, attitudes, reactions e.g. if you are lazy, wasteful  spender, angry,  laid back, talkative, sloppy, argumentative, moody, truant etc. you definitely need someone who is strong in that area or else you will  both have a miserable marriage. While we are trusting God to strengthen us, God sometimes uses partners to get the job done. There are two basic power of transformation in a man’s life; the power of the Holy Ghost, and the influence of a good wife or husband.

4-      Compatibility: this is a major area where relationships are tried. This speaks of the way both of you see things and look at issues. Somebody who agrees with you on the major issues of life like religion, children, money, socials etc. will definitely be a great friend in a relationship. Compatibility can never be 100%, but it’s better to have the major areas of your life covered to avoid being derailed in your destiny. Disagreement in areas of politics and hobbies and interests can be managed with tact and wisdom in a relationship.

5-      Now finally, if you are able to scale through the above points, the final question to ask yourself is “Am I in love with him or her?” Avoid asking yourself this question until you have scaled through the points above to avoid being deceived and rushing into a relationship that may hurt your life and destiny. These points are what we find out during dating or friendship before you decide to move ahead. A broken friendship or engagement is much better than a broken marriage. But if you scale through these above points, and you can answer the question of love, then I guarantee you 90% success in your marriage in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

6-AVOID getting into any sexual encounter when you are in the above process of finding out . Marriage is far bigger than sex. It is about two people joining hearts,mind ,soul ,spirit and body for a life adventure and fulfillment of destinies. So many things and lives gets affected if you get it right or wrong.

If you found yourself having sex already, you  have  simply messed up, your judgment is already beclouded, you may be making a great error, you may get stuck,  you have put the cart before the horse and you need to get out and get some help or deliverance.

7- However if you can simply trust the Lord who knows the end from the beginning and before whom all things are naked , then you may not need to go thru the above process, the Lord's choice is always perfect . Be sure it is the LORD JESUS CHRIST. May His right hand be strong to guide you as you begin this phase of life journey in Jesus Name. Amen