YOU,  AND YOUR BOYS AND MEN

 

 

Before the bible called a woman the weaker vessel, it is because the man is weak, 1 Peter 3:1-5. You can’t have weaker unless there is weak. In the world it is often said that behind every successful man is a woman, because for you to be a success it means you are able to understand the woman you married and she’s not hindering your prayers. If a woman hinders your prayers you are most likely not to be a success. There are 7 chronic weaknesses most natural men have, until they come into Christ and in the Word and they grow and fight it.

1.    Most men are proud & have a lot of ego. Boys from high school boost themselves and make them look bigger than they really are. If it is not dealt with, the man carries it into marriage. Which makes him very touchy, aggressive, all because of pride. They want to be in control of their environment, flaunt and boast in their ego.

2.    Most men are selfish. The natural man when, they want their needs met, they want it met right now. Sometimes they can be inconsiderate and always give excuses. During the dating stages you might not see it, but in marriage it can be a huge problem.

3.    Most men are stubborn. It is connected to pride. Even when it is obvious they are wrong, they will still continue to argue. It is not needed in any relationship. If you see it, start praying against it. It destroys homes and steals love and makes men unattractive. The way a man has been made and because of the responsibilities that they carry, because they have to provide, that stubbornness could be positive or negative. There is that part of starting something and holding onto that every man needs, but you have to know when to back off. When you don’t know when to back off, that is stubbornness. But when you are on the right course and you are pursuing the right course for your life, your children, your family then that’s a good reason to be stubborn. But when it is something foolish, just let it go. Sometime what your wife is telling you not to do could be because of your life. Women can pick things very quickly and perceive more. Sometimes they can see faster than men.

4.    Most men can be manipulative. To say what you don’t mean to try and get your way or trying to influence the other person by twisting words.

5.    Most men can be laid back/lazy. Men who can’t hold their life. A man must be hard working; he must take care of his own. Whatever your wife brings in is to only compliment what you are doing. As a man you must work with your hands. For your wife to submit to you, you must have a job, earn income. A man must work hard to hold a home. If you are laid back, the same temperament is carried into everything else. Every man was created by God to be the head of the woman; it takes responsibility and hard work.

6.    Most men can have anger problems. Most men, unless they are fighting it with God are angry. It is a weakness of many men. A woman must know how to deal with an angry man.

7.    Most men have a problem with lust. Lust is when your eyes and heart are constantly roaming. Many men are caught in lust. Boys/men can easily find sex anywhere.

 

What are you going to do as a woman? You’ll have to deal with something, at every point and at every level. You as a woman can make the most/best of what you have. If you are a single woman, you can watch out to make it easier in marriage. For those who are already married, you have to make the best of what you have. How can we then as women relate to and manage men that have all these certain weaknesses? The first thing is that this man must be born again. The first way to escape is to make sure you marry someone who is saved. Look at his potentials; is he heading towards the light? When you met him did your prayer life go forward or sink? Did your church attendance increase or go down? What is his influence/impact in your life? Did your love and desire for God grow? That is what you look out for. Open your eyes wide, love is not blind, marriage will open it up for you.

There are 3 things that you as a woman can do with whatever man you have, right now or will come. That he’s saved doesn’t mean he is going to be perfect, but these are tools that will work.

3. Submission- it is different from obedience. Submission is of the heart, obedience is of the head. You can obey without being submissive. Submission is the attitude of the heart. It is another word for love. You submit to your husband in love. It has to do with care. You cannot care and love a man and not submit to him. Submission has to do with helping him to do what God wants him to get done. It is helping him to succeed. That means, he brings this information then you work on it with him to get it done. If what he is asking/telling is against the word, you don’t submit. When he brings something to the table, you pray and give suggestions. In the process of praying or suggesting ideas, the plan is either dropped or continued. Submission doesn’t make you a fool; you have to be strong to be submissive. It takes strength to submit, because your natural tendency is to challenge every authority. Submission is a heart-titude. If you are proud, you cannot hold your home.

2. Chaste conversation. Good communication, speaking well, using the right tone and the right time. When a man comes to you to express his concerns, that is not the time to tell him your own too. That is not the time, you find and choose your own time. At that moment address his concerns.

Avoid words like, “how come you always... how come you never...” The bible calls them poison of asps, Romans 3:13-14. Do not throw arrows in your conversation. Avoid attacking your husband or fiancé. We must purge our tongues. It is not good to show him up in public, to show that you are angry with him, discuss it when you get home. Not everyone has to be in your business, you have pastors for this reason. You both cannot be angry, depressed, etc. at the same time. When he is angry you must not be, when he is a bit down you must pick him up. You don’t have to be foolish when he’s foolish. You put your feelings aside and minister to him. It is a partnership. Abigail took David out of killing. If he wants to do something erratic, you must speak wisely and bring him to his senses. Your conversation brings him to reasoning. If Jezebel could twist Ahab like that, you can twist any man the right way. There is a strength in you as a woman that you can channel with wisdom to make the most of your relationships.

1. Prayer is the greatest key. Prayer not only changes situations, it changes you. As you pray for your husband, God turns the searchlight on you. And as you change, it provokes a change in him. Pray for him. As you are praying for him God will show you what to do about yourself and how to handle the situation. Sometimes a change of mind, the way you see things can solve many problems. Some women bring strongholds from the past into their relationships and transfer the pains or hurts into that relationship unconsciously. Then you interpret everything he does negatively. You must have the mind of Christ, so that you can see things in the right way, not the negative way.

 

Prayer and submission are two powerful keys that will lead to wise speaking, that will keep your home and continue to keep it. Meekness is not foolishness, it is strength. It  means you have to power to do, but you refrain from doing it, you have the power to hurt, but you’d rather not, you can talk back, but you choose not to, you can retaliate, but you’d rather not. Quietness means you let it go. The bible says it is better to live on the roof than to live in a palace with a brawling contentious woman who must always have her way. A soft answer turns away anger.